And here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson.
If you are of a certain age, you may well remember the movie “The Graduate.” A young Dustin Hoffman stars as a graduate student obsessed with the sexy — and much older — Mrs. Robinson.
We need to bring the inimitable Mrs. Robinson back. We need to remind the world — particularly the world of marketing — that many of us are Mrs. Robinson, albeit lacking that amazing husky voice. We are over forty and we are sensual and sexy. We know this to be true; a quick glance at how we move will reveal that we are comfortable — even gloriously happy — in our own skin.
The world of marketing has not quite caught up with who we are and how we feel, much less the products we want and need. Unsurprisingly, this disconnect is often most visible in the world of beauty brand marketing. The marketing messages simply don’t resonate with us. I suspect the reason is rather simple — marketing departments don’t spend the necessary dollars to truly understand who we are and instead rely upon outdated generalizations that presume female insecurity as a given.
The truth as I know it is quite different. We hide the hideous prom picture, not the flattering picture from last month. Because at 18 we were still experimenting with versions of ourself. Experiments with unsure results generates fear and insecurity. Today, hopefully, most of us have declared our personal identity winner and we really like her. Beauty products are there, in our view, to make us look like the best possible version of ourself today, not to morph us into the us of younger years (bad perm and eighties shoulder pads simply are not a goal).
To be fair, there has been some improvement. Twenty somethings are no longer the only models in ads for anti-aging products. Clothing designers have begun to send models down the runway who have passed through their second decade of life. These are hardly mind blowing, radical improvements but at least it is movement in the right direction.
Eventually a study will establish for all time a truth that seems to have been lost in all the chatter about female insecurity. We sort of kind of (gasp!) like ourselves! Until then, brands will keep on losing revenues for the taking (particularly given our control of the purchasing power in this country). But many thanks to the brands and individuals who are working hard to improve the current state of play.
But while so called “mature” women (hate that term) are more often portrayed as viable representations of beauty, it seems that the world is still uncomfortable with the idea of mature women being sensual and sexy. As in outrageously physical beings who understand the sexiness of subtlety, are noticed when they walk in a room because of their sheer presence, have the confidence that is obtained solely through experience...
In short, I am talking about seriously sexy women who truly own their sexuality. Embrace it even. Because these women KNOW things.
We have spent our lives learning how to be women. Learning how to feel comfortable in our skin. Developing confidence that comes with facing seemingly impossible challenges and winning. Learning how to touch ourselves for pleasure and then learning that we have the right to teach our sex partners how to do so.
And, let’s face it, learning how to walk in heels. Superficial perhaps but I am making a point here, stick with me.... I often see groups of young women (teens mostly) hobbling along on a weekend night. It is crazy cold but coats would cover up the short dresses now in style. So they are all freezing — and look it. And (back to the heels here), they are all wearing very, very high platform heels. Thus my ‘“hobbling” description above.
Are short dresses and high heels sexy at times? Absolutely.
Is shivering and hobbling sexy? Nope.
So why are the Mrs. Robinsons never seen in the world of marketing? Why is it that I can’t find me?
I care about taking care of my skin and body so that they look their best. And feel their best. But I already feel sexier (WAY sexier) than I did at 20. Or even 30. I feel not just more sexual, I also feel more sensual. I am enjoying life so much that I don’t really care if Allure uses the word “anti-aging.” And I want to buy products from companies that know I am having fun. That my life is not about achieving lost youth; it’s about embracing found pleasures. I want to see ads that present me as I see myself — sexier than ever.
To sum up, we “mature” women are not surprised that young Dustin was unable to get Mrs. Robinson out of his mind. She was hot.
