doing it on your own
as a woman who waited until she was 44 to get married, i learned to get comfortable with doing things on my own. whether that was going out for dinner, taking a trip or more mundane tasks like packing up multiple apartments on my own, i found a way to enjoy life without a companion always by my side.
was this always easy? absolutely not. after a certain age, there are moments when it feels everyone has coupled in some form or fashion. holidays were particularly challenging; even spending those days with my immediate family was not a salve because each of my four siblings had also gotten hitched by the time I was in my late twenties.
but, over time, once can be comfortable -- at times even revel -- in experiencing the world as you, and only you, want to. you can be apontaneous at any moment, you can meet new people on a whim and you can choose what you want without always having to consider the wants of another. and, ultimately, if you wait long enough, that 50 percent divorce rate kicks in and you find yourself part of a much larger community of men and women who are living life on their own.
yes, there will always be moments when a partner would be nice. i will not surgercoat that reality. but as someone who as been both single for a very long time and married, i can say that there are wonderful aspects to both. i suspect, indeed, that a person truly appreciates the benefits of couplehood only after experiencing singlehood. (and i am not referring to having a dinner partner; rather I am referring to the emotional joys of partnership).
in an ideal world, i think we can have both. i, for example, am a night person. i flourish in new york city because it is a place that never goes to sleep. despite its bad name as as a tourist mecca, i still love times square because it is a bright light testament to the fact that the lights never go out here. will most partners enjoy times square like i do? well, having spoken to many new yorkers on the topic, the answer is no. but can i still enjoy it? unquestionably yes.
on a recent cold winter night (very early morning actually) i wandered into times square after a walk to check out this year's amazing holiday display at saks fifth avenue. there, in the wee hours of the morning, was a stand with something all the kids are familiar with but I had never seen -- a 360 degree camera. well, i have never lost my love for music or for dancing so (once I figured out what the hell it was), i paid my twenty dollars to choose a song to dance to. by myself. and i can tell you that dancing by yourself to music you love, surrounded by the lights and activity that defines times square, is really, really fun. did some people look at me and wonder what in gods name i was doing? probably. did my family shake their head at the wacky youngest of five? definetely. did I have a great time? yes.
check out the picture. do I look like I am having a good time?
p.s. the first time you venture out their on your own, it may be scary. it probably will be scary. try it anyway.
